12 Character Muscles, Emotional, Spiritual
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12 Character Muscles // Self – Control April


When I was about two years old, my mum thought she’d lost me.  She ran all around the house, up and down the stairs before finally coming outside.  There at the end of the garden she spotted the top of my head poking out above a bush.  She walked to the end of the garden and as she rounded the corner, there I was standing by the raspberry cane stuffing as many into my mouth as possible.  She looked at me and asked, “Hannah, are you eating the raspberries?”.  I responded with a shake of the head and a murmured “no”.  Not only did this response illustrate my courage at a young age, it also showed nerve and stupidity and some of these qualities may have persisted.  At this point I was covered in raspberry juice and looked like I was playing a much safer (and healthier) version of chubby bunnies, all by myself.  Yes, just keep shaking your head, she’ll never know.
Self-control hasn’t always been a strong point for me.  It has definitely gotten better over the years, but food and I were firm friends for a long time.  So, self-control April being over the Lenten period was well timed.   I didn’t, however, end up focusing on food as I’d been in a good space in this area (my flat mates and I are on the Whole 30).  What I did discover for me was that self-control in relationships and challenging situations is a big deal.  How do I handle time alone for myself? Or others needing time alone? Do I take that personally? When is it good to press an issue with someone? When is good to wait or let it go?  We all fear loss and rejection, so giving space and time to relationships and friendships is never easy.  It comes back to that deep-rooted issue of identity and where we both look for it and find it.  Where are we being loved from and where are we being known from?  Are we loving ourselves and are we being known?  When we know why we do what we do, self-control will not only make more sense but it will also become easier.

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